Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
