brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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