Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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