i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
