i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just tell him i said nine months
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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