How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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