it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
