Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize