I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
