I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
