In the future we'll all be gay
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
