So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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