so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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