If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
