how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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