If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
