After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
