i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
