brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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