After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize