i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this boner is exhausting
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
