Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think i have herpe
just one?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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