We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
