I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
