So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
