well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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