Do vagina's smell?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
