do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
