Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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