Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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