i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If I had your ass I would rule the world
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
