Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
