so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
