I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
