i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i now understand why vodka
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
