the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
