Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
