Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
