today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
