those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
