ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Bring me that man meat
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
