Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
