There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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