Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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