just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
