Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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