I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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