I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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