dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
a search helicopter?!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
