Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
