your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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