I think I died a long time ago.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
