we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
