I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
