i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
