What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
