I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
