So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
