1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
