Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize