her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
