I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize